Energy & Confidence.
You can feel it swirling through the air, like wispy gold dust. My heart melts for the feeling. This season, specifically this month, paints me in its shimmering hues. I've fallen in love with the feeling and my body craves the sweetness it shares.
December. It's a time of reflection, of wishes, of last minute kisses as the clock of the year slows. It's frost blue and it's gold and it's silver. It's simple and joyous and all can agree it is lovely, even though it is cold. It's the end of the year, and it will lead us into a new one. And this last month has filled me with energy.
I remember how I went into this year. Dreaming of Italy, listening to soft music by Katie Melua, drawing on my Buddha Board. And honestly, the same ideas and things have stayed with me all throughout this year. Except it's expanded. I'm not only dreaming of Italy, but many places across the globe like New Zealand and Switzerland. I've explored more through hiking and travel. I meditated from time to time over the Summer, and went to California. I've been to Vermont and Virgil, New York. I improved my photography and writing. I organized an art show for the first time. 2016 was filled with so much. I made the prediction that it would be a wonderful year, and I can't believe how right I was.
Some things went wrong, but other things were very lovely. But, that's always, no? We just have to find the positives. I believe I'm exploring peace within myself more than ever before. But, one thing that I've realized I need to work on is my confidence.
This year, I have learned to speak up a wee bit more, but I'm still very quiet. I have things I'm passionate about and opinions I'd like to share, but I don't do it very confidently or often at all. This blog is my freedom, it is where I express my truest self. It's entirely mine. Four people have told me I need to increase my confidence: my drawing teacher, my dance instructor, my English teacher and my Spanish teacher. The truth is I have no idea how to gain confidence at the moment, outside of this blog. So that's a new adventure I'm on. Finding confidence. I'll keep this updated on that. Oh, maybe, just maybe, that will be on my resolutions list for 2017.
It is the start of the end, and I wonder how long this golden feeling will last. I wonder where I will go next. I wonder who I will meet and what I will lose. My goodness, there are so many wonders in my mind. But I want to leave you with a story.
Earlier this week, I was speaking with my accounting teacher about things I'd like to accomplish in my future. I said that I wish to make myself and other people happy, and I would like to travel the world. He said he had one problem with that. If I spend so much time trying to make other people happy, I might not get the chance to make myself happy. I need to prioritize myself in a way, and it's okay to make other people happy, but doing it for myself is important as well. And if I'm happy, it's easier to make the people around me happy as well.
It isn't the first time I've heard something like that. I still care to make the people around me happy, but maybe I should also focus some time on myself, and maybe that will help me gain confidence as well. Maybe we should put ourselves first from time to time. Just a thought to leave you with.
Happy December, loves. (Also, I might have a surprise coming up soon, so stay tuned, friends.)
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